Why Avoiding Being In Photographs Hurts Everyone You Love

Photographs are not about you.  I tell my clients that all the time.  Every single “I hate this about myself” and “I never take good photos” and “No.  I just want pictures of my children”…all things I hear over and over and all things that come down to this:  You’re hurting your loved ones immeasurably when you let your insecurities win.


When was the last time you willingly allowed yourself to be in a photo?  Were you happy about it?  Or did you grudgingly step in and feel put upon because you HATE it?

When you are resistant…when you say “no no no — YOU guys get into the photos” — think about what message you’re passing on to your children, or family or friends.  Are you showing them that being vulnerable is a BAD thing or are you taking a deep breath and stepping in and showing them that even when you feel insecure you do it anyway?  Which person do you want to be?  I know the answer for myself and it took a LONGGGG time to get there.  To this day I am not thrilled with photos of myself.  There’s a lot of “omg.  do I really look like that” still in there.  But the lesson I learned the hard way is this:  When you’re gone — photos are all there is left.

Photos are the love letters you leave for your family long, long after you’re gone.

So think about that.  Be in the photos.  Laugh.  Show your loved ones how you FEEL about them.  So later…when you’re not there to actually TELL them.  They still know.

So I’m talking to YOU moms and girls and women.  Remember the next time someone points a phone at you and you put your hand up and block the photo.  Remember the next time your children go “mommy take a picture of me!”  Take a picture of them WITH you.  Teach them that showing love for each other in photos is far far more important than learning selfie face.

Don’t let your inner voice make you invisible.  If you’re in NO photos.  If you only TAKE photos and don’t let anyone else do it — you’re invisible.  Do you really think your family wants 400 photos of your kids eating ice cream?  Nope.  They want photos that ALSO have you in them too.

I spend so much time thinking about this I created “Me and My Kids” sessions. (All the photos in this article are from those sessions)  Because come ON people.  If you can’t just take a iphone photo — hire someone to HELP you.  Get in the photos.  And ALSO learn how to be in the everyday — oh gheesh I’m still in my pajamas photos.  No one actually cares if you’re mussy.  Be mussy!  Be imperfect!  Tell your kids it’s perfectly fine to just BE.









Posted byTammy Swales