So…if you read my blog at all you must know that I love being happy. I’m perpetually optimistic (to a fault) and I LOVE the people in my life. No matter what. I like talking about my clients and sharing details from the things that we do here at the studio…but rarely do I share all the boring stuff or the hard stuff.
Today it’s the hard stuff. I debated whether or not to even write this entry — I mean…how can I even come CLOSE to sharing something so personal and so hard with all of you…but I came to the conclusion that if your even here reading this — then you either…like me…know me…or want to know more about me. And Lulu is a very very big part of my life. For eleven years.
I lost my best friend yesterday. It was quick and unexpected — even though I could see age taking it’s toll — I still clung to the belief that she would be part of my life forever. Those of you who have pets or anyone or anything super important in your world know exactly what I am saying. You know it’s coming — but you’ll willingly cling to the last scrap of time together no matter how hard or how much effort it takes.
I used to be (haha. that’s a joke. I still am.) afraid of relationships. Of commitment. Of making a CHOICE and having to stick to it forever. I didn’t want to be tied down with a pet…I felt like it was not the greatest decision I made…
But then I met Lulu.
Those of you who met her will know that Lulu has (forgive. I still cannot speak in past tense. not yet) the most amazing personality. She was happy to see me no matter how long I was gone…5 minutes or 5 days. She missed me. And I missed her.
Losing her is so terribly painful.
But I also want to tell you that the pain I am feeling is small compared to the amount of joy that dog has given me over the years. She’s listened to me. She’s snuggled me when I was upset and growled at me when I wanted to play. She made me laugh every.single.damn.day. And I am going to miss her so much.
So…here are just a few of the amazing things that I love about my dog.
1. Her aversion to peanut butter. She never could understand: was it a liquid? was it a solid? She made the funniest “peanut butter face”. OMG.
2. Floppy Tongue. Floppy tongue came out when she was happiest. When the people who loved her were around her and paying attention to how fabulous she was and rubbed her belly. This is a RARE photograph my son snapped of my puppy and me and floppy tongue.
3. Swimming Dog. She’s a lab right? She loves loves water. And swimming. And shaking it all off on whomever is closest.
4. Her smile. Lulu always smiled. Unless I was going somewhere and not taking her. Her smile sometimes got me through the day.
5. She loved me no matter what. If I was grumpy, unshowered, weird, tired, sad, happy. Her devotion never waivered. Nor did mine.
I know she’s not in pain anymore. I know she loves me. And I know that in knowing her — I am a completely better, calmer and happier person than I would have been. And…it really really hit home to me how incredibly important photographs are today. These photographs…some of them are OLD. All of them are PRECIOUS. Because I can’t get her back again. But I can carry her in my heart and remember.
So … I don’t want you to be sad for me. I’m soooo lucky to have had such an amazing dog in my life. I just wanted you to know I’m sad. And I miss my puppy.
Love you Luleelu. You’re SUCH a good girl.